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A Very Merry Un-Birthday to Me

I hosted a wine and cheese party for some of my favorite people last Saturday. I’ve mentioned this idea before, but I finally put it together and did it and enjoyed every minute. We had quite the spread of cheeses, a tub full of wine bottles, and a choice assortment of dried fruit, figs, olives, chocolates, crackers and nuts.

My grandma recently bestowed me with my great-grandmother’s china, and I couldn’t have been any giddier to showcase it and put it to good use. My great-grandma bought the set for herself while she worked outside the home for a short time. You see, my great-grandparents owned a farm and didn’t have a lot of money left over after getting the necessities for frivolity. So, it just makes me feel all tingly knowing she did this one nice thing just for herself.

We also broke out our Tiffany candle holders that have been protectively wrapped up in tissue inside the familiar blue box. These were a wedding gift from almost five years ago that I am always afraid to bring/leave out. We joke that they’re some of the only refined things we own, aside from the china now.

I put up a fun tinsel/streamer wall with a set of props and charades-like cards for picture-taking. With a little encouragement, almost everyone got their mugs captured. Even my husband tried his best Rockette’s pose. Oh boy!

We watched a comedy collection of four Independent Films and rated Best Picture, Best Performance, and Best Original Story. We chatted. We broke out the Wii. And a few of us went out to a lounge afterwards to catch a cover band, featuring a friend of one of the girls.

I am truly honored and grateful to have such wonderful friends. Sometimes, winter seems to turn us into such impersonal, stagnant beings. We only see our neighbors if we both happen to be outside shovelling at the same time. Everyone’s hibernating in their own homes, there’s not a whole lot to do, and we can start to feel quite bored and lonely. This party sure broke up some of the winter doldrums and made my heart feel all warm. I think I might start a new tradition and try this again, once every year.

Extenuating Circumstances Make Great Friends

Sometimes it takes a tragedy, an emergency situation or an unlikely pairing on an eternal bus ride to deepen a connection between two rare souls. Sometimes it seems a tragedy in itself that it takes such extenuating circumstances to forge said connection.

I remember a woman I used to work with that reamed someone out for asking her how she was one day. Instead of just letting it go as a socially responsible thing to ask, she lectured him about the unfriendliness of the “how are you” question when he really had no regard for the answer. But would it have been more friendly to just ignore her and walk into the building without having said a word to her?

In a way, she was right though. These less-than-meaningful social graces we subscribe to don’t fulfill that deep desire for human connection. But it would be difficult to forge that connection with every single person we pass, and so these social graces keep us moving along in harmony.

However, wouldn’t it be nice, once in awhile, if we could form some deep bonds with the people we meet in passing? Without being couped up next to them in a bathroom during an hour-long tornado warning? Without lying next to them on an airport bench during severe winter weather that left you both stranded?

I have a neighbor that I’ve said “hello” to in passing. She’s right around my age with a little daughter. We seem to be in a similar sort of life situation in many respects, yet I didn’t even know her name for the first three years of living in my home. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone within breathing distance to laught about tantrums with, to exchange babysitting, to rave about the new sidewalks, and to whisper about our mates?

I have good friends, to be sure. But sometimes the logistics of separate cities, multiple children and different working hours leave little time for get-togethers, let alone grabbing a quick coffee. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone so close by that you don’t need to think about packing your baby in the car, running for gas, and being home in time for dinner? And why not be close friends with a neighbor anyway?

So, we invited the neighbor, her daughter and boyfriend for a cookout during the summer. From my profile, you can see that I have a craving for connection. I tend to fall more on the reserved side though, so I let my husband do the talking. I mean, why not? Why not take those small opportunities and turn them into something remarkable? A tight group of close friends keeps us all happy, healthy, well-adjusted human beings. And they have nice warm homes to hide out in when you accidentally lock yourself out of the house.