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Diets Diets Everywhere

It’s kind of funny. Since I’ve climbed up the health hill, I’m much more apt to become annoyed when I hear people talk about diets. It seems almost silly, and I can tell when, like clockwork, they’ll totally ditch the plan in favor of all their previous indulgences. It’s really a tiresome process for everyone involved I think. I will be the first to applaud anyone’s weight loss and health goals, but it frustrates me when the “diet” (fad) followed isn’t sustainable, healthy, or taken very seriously.

Whenever a celeb or person we know loses weight, we all want to know what plan they followed. Then, we jump on the bandwagon only to fall off two weeks down the road. I think it helps to look at the big picture. Every infallible diet plan is based on some of the same basic diet principles. There’s no wand-waving, no juice or pill that will make everything better. And what does make everything better takes a whole lot of work. And it must be practiced for an entire lifetime.

Perhaps that’s what frustrates me most, when people think that they shouldn’t have to do much to watch the weight fall off. Or when they use every excuse ever devised. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight the natural way and kept it off knows that it takes a damn lot of work! And when someone thinks it’s supposed to be easy, it’s rather insulting to the hours of planning and sweat we have worked through over the years. Us losers take pride in the accomplishments we have achieved and the raw effort it took to get here. And yes, some of us have kids, full-time jobs, hobbies, homes in need of attention, and so much more that we have to work against every day in order to be healthy.

Anyhow, enough ranting. I truly do wish everyone the best in their healthful endeavors. I just wish that we weren’t so hardwired to get caught in all of the hype. I even fall victim to that every once in awhile.

Seinfeld Syndrome

Sometimes I wish I could implement the dynamics of the Seinfeld cast to my own friendships to create a wide open-door policy. I mean, Elaine, George and Kramer can show up unannounced and talk about anything (or nothing). And even their most detrimental idiosyncrasies do not demolish their friendships. They accept each others’ ticks, make plans to hang out without any hassles, and feel completely comfortable in one another’s company. This is sort of comparable to the Friends cast. Sure there are tiffs about stolen girlfriends and lost bets, but you only need to walk into the next room or across the hall to find one of the greatest sources of love: your friends.

I know, I know. It’s just TV. But there is something to be said about that open-door policy. I feel a little ripped off when I can’t visit a friend due to the state of her living room or a conflict of naptime schedules. And I feel a little lonely when I tell friends that my door is open and they never take me up on it. No really, my door is wide open. I thrive on unexpected visits.

Psychology to your Advantage

I just heard an interesting tidbit from a Social Psychology lecture I was listening to on a podcast (don’t ask). There was a study that said that individuals put forth more effort when other people are around. Thinking about this from a fitness standpoint, it would be beneficial to work out in a gym or other public facility. You might just work a little harder. Or perhaps you might try running in public. It feels good to breeze past homes where you occasionally see people sitting in front of the TV, or sitting around in general. Or when you sneak a peek at a cute guy, you can’t help but pick up your shoulders and your pace. Awww, c’mon, you know you do:) And you know people are watching you from their vehicles as they pass by, so you don’t want to appear haggard, right? Taking part in group exercise classes, in front of a mirror to boot, makes you more apt to perfect your form, follow through, and eek out every last rep so you don’t look like a schmuck. In the comfort of your own living room, you can get by with a little (or a lot) of slack.

The hugest boost I’ve ever had while running was when I was running in road races. I don’t think I would’ve survived the half-marathon if it weren’t for the supporters that cheered the entire length of the route. As silly as it may sound, it ticked me off, at the same time as it made me root for them, when these little kids or people much heavier than me would pass me up. That pushed me to run faster. And my mom even noticed that every time I saw my family at the mile markers, my pace seemed to pick up. So, there must be some truth in these psychological theories.

The opposite effect is true when you’re working out with other people or participating in a group effort. You’re actually more likely to work less hard. You start to rely on the strength and speed of others, such as in the case of something like a tug-of-war.

So, use these little tidbits to your advantage to push your workout to new heights!

Sweatin’ to the Oldies

Thank goodness the days of Richard Simmons and endless grapevines are gone. You can get fit, without sweating to the oldies, with the likes of Jillian, Ellen Barrett, Chalene Johnson, Sara Ivanhoe, and other modern-day fitness mavens. As technology progresses and trainers find new ways to sweat, we are blessed with more efficient and more enjoyable workouts.

I think when the background music, background decor, workout outfits are more tasteful and modern, the more favorably I look upon the video. It’s much easier to get into the groove of it when it doesn’t feel like I’m traveling back to the days of thong leotards and neon biker shorts. I don’t know exactly what it is.

Thank goodness for on-demand fitness television, online workout videos, online fitness information about anything you can think of, easier access to foreign forms of exercise, accessible exercise equipment and widespread chain fitness clubs in every city. This modern stuff is all very much to my benefit, for sure. I get bored very easily.

Witnessing a Success Story

Every once in awhile, you get to be a witness to a wicked transformation right before your eyes. A few months ago, a homely-looking couple at work began a weight loss program. Now, they’re both miniature replicas of their previous selves. Or should I say, better-dressed, taller-standing miniature versions of themselves. Suddenly, with their new haircuts and much brighter and closer-fitting clothing, they’ve become our stylish idols of change here at work. The swagger in both of their steps and the brighter smiles on their faces are highly motivating. It’s as though one positive change begins a snowball effect after with which confidence, style, poise and grace follow.

It’s just like when a girl gets a good haircut and style and thinks of all the places she needs to go that day just to get the most out of the great hair day and have it noticed by the most possible people. She suddenly injects a little swagger into her stride and perhaps stops off at the store to grab a bottle of potion to make her face look brighter within three days and a pair of sunglasses that perfectly frame her face. The effects of one positive change can be far-reaching.

These complete stunning changes only happen every once in a long while, so you just can’t help but stare.

A Self-Conscious Narcissist

I just read a quote from someone that stirred my thoughts a little bit. It’s from a website called “Grace & Poise. The line was: “The most unhappy people are those that only think of themselves.”

Now, I used to be excruciatingly self-conscious. I still have moments when my self esteem wanes, but it was truly detrimental especially in my college years. I would walk into a restaurant and hear revelers laughing and somehow always thought that they were laughing at me. My eyes would rove about a room wondering what people were thinking about me and I would conclude that every whisper or sneer was directed at me. I was once referred to as a b—h by a friend of a friend. I was too shy to talk at a small gathering, but I came across as conceited for not engaging in conversation. I read a passage in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to this same effect. The main character came off as detached and disinterested simply because he was quiet. Believe it or not, I had an epiphany when I read that.

Anyhow, the deal with self-consciousness is that it is, paradoxically, narcissistic. Even though you’re thinking rather lowly of yourself, the fact that your thoughts revolve around yourself makes you self-absorbed. So, by thinking only of myself, I was very unhappy as the quote above estimates. To be happy, all I had to do was turn my attention outward and the effects were staggering.

Volunteering, striking conversations with strangers, asking questions, developing relationships, and having my own family have all helped me overcome the agonizing effects of self-consciousness.

Coddling the Inner Princess

Why do we deny ourselves the simple everyday luxuries that make us feel special, unique, perhaps hinting at regal. I am currently reading the book Wear More Cashmere which provides 151 ways a woman can treat herself to luxuriant indulgences for very little cost. And why not?

Why do we save so little for ourselves? We save the best hand towels for special occasions and guests, we save the last penny for some elusive crumb, and we tend to the mundane yet noble tasks that our various roles require.

But those cumbersome roles can hold us back if we let them. We tend to forget the magnitude of our own existences. We pull the weeds in place of tending new relationships. In the overwhelming responsibilities that we take upon ourselves, we forget the true happiness that comes from choosing a new bottle of perfume. I do not condone frivolity, but I do promote a small measure of luxury every once in awhile to soothe the soul, especially when it’s been buried beneath the weight of selflessness.

Right now I’m listening to some contemporary folk music that is raising my hair with its effect. Wrapping me up like high thread count sheets. Sometimes I forget how well music treats me. Shortly after enlarging our family, I had to buy a Vogue magazine. I’m normally not a Vogue kind of person. The style is far above anything I could afford or understand. But I just needed to completely submerge myself in something absolutely indulgent. It symbolized to me something that overcame the bounds of motherhood that seemed to tighten quickly around me. It offered a little sense of relief.

I have denied myself many things in the name of practicality and it’s taking a lot of work to come back around to me.

Disc Golf

So, I’m thinking about adding this sport to my summer workout/entertainment repertoire. I’ve never played the game, but it seems quite enjoyable and of course, cheap. Something the whole family can participate in while enjoying the outdoors. And apparently there are several courses within only a few miles of my home. Who knew?

I’ve been exploring several other obscure activities this year. My husband and I took in a roller derby game a few months ago. I never even knew that game existed until I had a friend who joined a team. I don’t think I’ll be joining a team myself anytime soon though. I’m not sure I’m ready for those “interesting” uniforms.

I’m also considering letterboxing or geocaching. I probably would have fallen in love with these ventures as a kid, so I think it would be neat to treat my son to an adventure.

Have you ever tried disc golf, and what did you think? Are there any other “out there” fitness activities you’ve tried or considered?

Notebook Obsession

Hello, my name is Jessica, and I am a notebook addict. Spiral-bound, perfect-bound, lined, unlined, hidden folder pockets, glossy untouched covers, journals, portfolios, executive-style leather folios…Oh, I’m drooling. The back-to-school sections of stores and even office-supply stores themselves draw me in with magnetic force. I don’t really know what it is. Perhaps it’s the boundless potential all those crisp white pages hold. The novels, the brilliant ideas, the lists, and oh the limitless capacities those wide-ruled lines promise make them completely irresistible to me. Add a shimmering pen and a whimsical cover design and I’m completely sold!

I even wrote a poem about this that I submitted to a tanka poetry publication (the rejection letter was actually very promising):

The note he left
was stacks of collected
white paper
he never could
penetrate

This reflects my (ahem, I mean some guy’s) notebook obsession combined with the utter listlessness I feel sometimes when it comes to actually writing something of substance. I have a deep passion for writing but a debilitating apathy for actually doing it some days. So, when I die, I wonder if my only contribution to the world will be stacks of empty paper or if I really will be able to penetrate them with my creativity.

Running Alternatives

There’s nothing like a great run to make me feel truly delicious. But sometimes, one gets burned out doing the same exercise every other day. So, once in awhile, I trade in my running kicks for bare feet and chlorine. But I am very picky about running alternatives. There are only a select few workouts that have a comparable intensity to me or leave me with that lung-expanded feeling like running does. If I don’t feel like a workout is as much of a challenge as running, I can’t justify substituting it for my passion (and hard-earned endurance level). My alternates to running include:

1. Kickboxing. Not the sissy stuff, the hardcore punching and kicking that leaves me winded.

2. Boot Camp: I found a great video at a rummage sale that kicks my butt every time. Try out The Method: Cardio Bootcamp.

3. Step aerobics: Take a trip back to the 80s. I once had a step instructor at the Y that changed the routines every single class and offered a fully modern workout that didn’t bring back memories of hot pink striped biking shorts. But Kathy Smith will do in times of need.

4. Swimming: something about the water, the buoyancy, the use of every muscle fiber to propel the body forward makes me feel like a million bucks and really does work the lungs to capacity.

5. Jump rope workouts: if you’ve tried one, you know what I mean.

6. Jillian Michael’s 30-Day Shred: even as a hardcore exerciser, this one still brings me to my knees every time.