We had a Christmas gathering at my uncle’s house this past weekend and I made the comment about how it just felt okay to let it all out there, because it was “just us” there, and no outsiders.

No family friends.

No neighbors.

No sometimes-boyfriends.

 

Just us.

And a whole lot of weirdness.

And I mean, you think your family is weird, but you’d think your family was tame after spending the day with mine;)

Anyone who knows my family IRL knows what I’m talking about.

 

The yelling, the weird habits, the same arguments reignited.

The dysfunctional communication.

The overwhelm thick in the air.

 

But also the love, the familiarity, the deep comfort in being with family.

 

Anyhow,

This led me to think about how we often mask certain parts of ourselves for outsiders, for neighbors, for employers, for online followers.

 

We allow ourselves to be more authentic around the people who know our crazy. Who see us as we really are.

 

Then, we go out into the world and we stand up a bit taller, speak a bit more sweetly, fix our words and our collars up.

 

Have you ever thought about how absurd this whole process seems, to become a different person outside of your comfort zone?  To become a different person online?

 

Hiding the crazy behind good graphic design.

Polished, copywritten BS.

 

We all know people who never let you see the tears, only the smiles.

I’ve seen brands that simultaneously call their followers their best friends and yet keep everyone at arm’s reach.

 

And I’m always left vaguely–or sometimes acutely–aware that there’s way more to the picture than that. There’s stuff you’re not showing me. There’s something you’re covering up.

And I’m not talking about dark skeletons in the closet, I’m talking about simple daily habits.

 

I’m talking about fitness personalities who hawk their workout programs and then post themselves doing completely different workouts on their Instagram Stories.

 

I’m talking about influencers who hide out for months with illness and emerge only to pick up where they left off like nothing ever happened when they’re fully recovered and polished again.

 

I’m talking about the webinar hosts that don’t answer certain questions. And it’s obvious they’re avoiding certain subjects.

 

Not that they owe anyone an explanation or have to lay it all out in tell-all fashion, but you’re just left wondering what else they’re not really showing you. What they’re really afraid of showing you.

 

So, I want you to know…

 

As a writer

As an online business owner

As a person

 

It’s okay to be who you really are.

 

It’s okay to show us the book-worthy picture of the recipe you just designed and then pull back the camera and show us the chaos in the background.

 

It’s okay to show your crooked teeth and sing off-key when you’re really getting into it.

 

I’ve got 11 years of corporate life detoxing from my very core. The core that had to be a professional, say-the-right-things woman.

 

I know what it feels like to tear down that side of me that puts up a front, to tear it away until all that’s left is the real me.

 

And I’m drawn to people who talk about their dirty houses and insecurities. I mean, not if they only talk about those things all the time, but the ones who let us see through their perfection to the imperfection we know is there anyhow, and part of the whole picture.

 

The ones who kneel down in front of you and let you in on their inside scoop.

 

It’s endearing.

It’s refreshing.

It’s validating.

 

It’s okay to be exactly who you are online. In fact, it’s so much easier and better to be who you really are because people can see right through your BS.

I find comfort knowing people aren’t the straight-laced, perfect versions they portray.

Whether you’re a fitness junkie, a freelance business owner, a momma bear, whoever you are. Take a minute to look at the message you’re putting out into the world today.

 

If you’re hiding behind a brand or an online image that isn’t quite who you are…

It’s okay to let something hang out once in awhile.

To show those around you who you really are.

To stop feeling like a fraud.

 

If you’re a freelance writer, let your audience know you’re kinda snarky and you sleep with your Thesaurus.

I’m not afraid to tell my clients that I’m a much better writer than a speaker after slightly awkward phone calls (See, did I just admit that out loud? An emphatic…yes!)

The people who appreciate you will find you.

The people who don’t, well, good riddance.

 

Although the word “authentic” has been thrown around enough in the last few years to become overused, the word, at its core, is the epitome of what I’m talking about.

 

Be authentic.

 

 

Here’s a journaling prompt for you: What parts of the image you portray in public really aren’t true to who you really are?

Example entry: my work desk is polished, but my home is a disaster. It makes me feel like a fraud. I don’t feel the need to trash my desk, but I could certainly delve deeper into why I do this. Why do I do this? It’s more about relationship dynamics, I think. At home, I feel like it should be a joint effort. At work, it’s just me and I feel more in control……..(keep going!)

 

If you appreciate the authenticity and straightforwardness of this post, you will appreciate my complete forwardness with any of my Freelance Mini Courses. I don’t hide anything! In fact, I give you full access to my own emails. So, snap up what you’ve been missing and build your dream business, babe!