You’re sending out pitch after pitch after pitch and you’re getting crickets.

You wonder what you’re doing wrong.

Maybe your emails are too generic. You might not be sending your pitches to the right person. They’re too long. Too short. Any number of things could be sending your pitches to the digital ditches. (<<dig that poetry)

 

One way you could be destroying your credibility is by coming across as desperate.

You have to eliminate desperation if you want your prospects to take you seriously.

(Even if you really do need the job or your power will be shut off).

 

Maybe you’ve heard the advice from other mentors and freelance writers to not sound desperate.

But maybe you don’t really recognize when you’re doing it, so you can avoid it.

How can clients tell?

 

Let’s take a look at some wording that puts you at a disadvantage and loses your prospects’ confidence in you. Then, we’ll fix it right up so you sound confident.

 

Watch the video version here:

(But read below for in-depth examples)

 

Freelance Pitches That Sound Desperate

 

Using shaky words

Words like might, maybe, may, could, sort of, and I think are words I like to call “shaky words.” They make you sound unsure. You need to get rid of these shaky words to convey confidence.

 

What it sounds like: 

• “I think I can make this work.”
• “I’ve used Powerpoint before so I imagine I could figure out Slides.”
• “This looks like something I might be able to do.”

These shaky phrases don’t make your clients believe in you. They don’t want to entrust their content to anyone who sounds like they “might” be able to write it.

 

What to do instead: Use Power Words

Power words convey a sense of conviction in your abilities. This is what your clients want to hear. Power words are just strong words and phrases that convey your certainty.  There are too many power words to list, but instead of “might,” say “I can.” Instead of “I think,” say “I know.”

Lets rewrite those shaky phrases above with more power:

• I’m confident I can meet all the expectations listed.
• I have extensive experience using various presentation programs, so I know I can master Slides quickly.
• These project details are in line with my expertise.

 

Putting prospects on a pedestal

Putting prospects on a pedestal means giving them a superior position in your mind and putting yourself at their feet. If you’re used to working in corporate, this can be a hard habit to break. You’re used to the corporate ladder and submission to your superiors.

However, as a freelance business owner, you have to get used to the idea of being on the same level as your prospects.

You’re not an employee or an assistant: you’re an equal as a business owner.

This principle goes even if you’re pitching a quasi-famous authority in your industry that you look up to. You’re still approaching them business owner to business owner.

 

What it sounds like:

• “I’ve admired you for the past 5 years and I really want to work for you.”
• “To work with you would fulfill a lifelong dream…”
• “Give me an assignment and I’ll show you what I can do.”

Anything that sounds like groveling or fangirling/fanguying is really off-putting to people what want business partners, not “followers.” You can certainly show your admiration and still approach them as a business.

 

What to say instead:

• “As a business owner myself, I have so much respect for what you do. Our common values would make a great match.”
• “I’ve been following you awhile now, so I have a strong feel for your voice and approach.”
• “I’m willing to do a paid trial project to give us a feel for working together.”

It’s okay to add a little flattery and show mutual respect. Just don’t bow or fawn.

 

 

Employee mindset

Similar to the point above, your voice may still carry the deference of a corporate employee. When you run a freelance business after you’re used to being in corporate, your employee mindset can come across strong in your pitches.

What it sounds like:

• “I would be the best employee for this position.”
• “Hire me, and you’ll see how well I work for your company.”
• “My credentials meet all the criteria for your job posting.”

These examples have the desperation of the superior/inferior mindset. You can practically hear the “please, give me a job” coming through here. The phrases that might be appropriate on a cover letter aren’t what your prospects want to hear.

 

What to do instead:

I made one small tweak to my website to remind me of the equal position I have with prospects. Instead of “hire me,” I have a “work with me” page. That small linguistic tweak puts my prospects and I on the same level.

In the same way, you want to speak CEO to CEO, not employee to boss. Your prospects aren’t hiring you, you’re working together. Approach your clients with that same mindset.

• “I have the expertise to help your business increase conversions.”
• “You’ll see by the testimonials and samples on my portfolio page what I can do for your company.”
• “I have a service package to cover the gaps in your business you mention.”

Take ownership of the business you actually own.

 

Offering work for free

Aside from offering free work to get your first sample or charity work, you should never work for free. I won’t even do “test projects” for free. You wouldn’t walk into the drugstore and decide a bottle of ibuprofen is free so you can test it out. That’s preposterous! The same goes for online business. You’re not the free store. There’s no such thing.

 

What it sounds like:

“Let me write a free 500-word post to show you what I can do.”

You know what that tells me? You’re desperate. And you don’t have enough work lined up. If you did, you wouldn’t have the time or resources to offer free work. Also? You should be able to show your clients what you can do with your portfolio.

The type of client that requests free work will always try to shortchange you from then on. They’ll ask you to do “just this quick little write-up” to go along with your work. For free.

Friend, you deserve to be paid for your work.

Plus, you should have a handful of exemplary samples to prove you can do what you say.

 

What to say instead: 

• “Here’s a link to my samples which show my expertise for landing pages.”
• “I see you don’t have an About page on your website, which is unfortunate because typically an About page is one of your top 3 most-viewed pages. I could write an about page for you to increase your authority and conversion for $350. This will give you feel for how I work.”
• “I’m willing to do a small paid project to help us get a feel for each other.”

 

 

Begging

For the love of all things pure and holy, please please do not beg (<<like that).

Begging doesn’t look good on you.

It puts your clients in a position where they feel bad for you or obligated to you. It’s off-putting.

What it sounds like:

• “Please give me a chance. You won’t be disappointed.”
• “I want this more than anything.”
• “This posting sounds perfect for me. I’d really appreciate you giving my application consideration.”

That last one there ^^ isn’t overt begging, but it pretty much says “Please, give me the time of day. Thank you for listening.” And more importantly, it’s all about you, not what you can do for them.

Your prospects want someone confident enough in your ability that you don’t have to beg. And they want to know what you can do for them.

 

What to say instead:

• “My past clients increased conversion rates by up to 259%, so I can get you exceptional results.”
• “I get a feeling we’ll get great results together.”
• “Your copywriter posting sounded like it was directed at me. My credentials and expertise are just what you need to increase your website performance.”

Show your prospects real results, and show them exactly how your services would serve them. Begging is unbecoming.

 

In summary,

Here’s a quick editing checklist to help you eliminate desperation from your emails:

1. Scan for words like “might,” “may,” “could,” and “think.” Replace with power words.
2. Reread your email and check for phrases that make you sound inferior. Put on your business owner cap and try again.
3. Replace those phrases you learned to write in cover letters with what you’d say as a business owner.
4. Don’t offer work for free.
5. Listen for hints of begging or groveling in your emails. Replace them with direct statements about your services.

 

I hope this information has been eye-opening and helpful. Hopefully this helps you detect desperation and find more confident ways to express yourself.

Recipients really can hear desperation in your voice, and that’s not the impression you want to make. Even if your entire life savings does depend on this “whole freelance thing” working out, you still need to take the emotion out of it. Take an objective approach and don’t let the troubles of your personal life infiltrate your emails. Your clients don’t want to hire you just to pacify your desperation.

 

I want to hear from you…

Have any interesting realizations about how you pitch? Where have you seen emails that sound desperate “out in the wild.”