Disclaimer: this post is pretty personal. Please be gentle with me.
I’ve been having an issue with my weight lately that I think I can finally get off my chest. I’ve not been discussing it on here too much because of my uncertainty about the root cause and the risk of sounding like a hypochondriac or someone all too concerned about weight.
But I have been having a real issue. Something that actually started to worry me. I was averaging about 1500 calories per day and working out for at least 50 minutes, 6 days per week–you can see exactly how I’m working out here on the blog. Even with my diligence at measuring and tracking everything, I was not losing weight. In fact, there were a few upticks in weight here and there over the past two years. Not enough to be too alarming, but enough to make me want to throw my hands up. Ok, I’ll say it, I even cried a little. Hubster knew how upsetting this was to me that something just wasn’t adding up, and he’s been super supportive this entire time, even coming to my appointment with me.
determined not to have my problem be dismissed.
I can assure you that none of this was about vanity or body image issues. It was completely about health at this point. I was genuinely concerned that something might be wrong. I just wanted so badly to be in the “healthy” BMI range, so I wasn’t headed towards a life of chronic disease.
I’ll lay the rest of it all out there too, because this is no place for being guarded and discreet (I want this to be a place for honesty and connection). I haven’t done a whole lot with my personal training certification yet. To be brutally honest, I felt like a complete hoax. How could I help other people lose weight when I couldn’t even help myself lose weight? Even though I knew something had to be wrong health-wise, I still didn’t feel qualified. But, as my doctor pointed out, now I will have even better insight to help others because of my own experience. I have an even harder time losing weight than most normal people, so if I can do it, certainly everyone else can. And certainly I will be able to help them do it.
So, what’s happening?
I am most likely in the pre- pre-diabetes stages. Not far along enough to warrant a diagnosis, but just far enough for my insulin to play mean tricks on my body. We did some thyroid testing too, just to rule that out (no results yet). What’s happening in my body is a vicious cycle. When I eat carbs, they cause my body to go crazy pumping out insulin. Later, when the excess insulin piles up, I will then have a low sugar crash–the shaky, nervous feeling from which my anxiety problems are originating. The insulin causes my body to store more fat, which causes my body to produce more insulin, which causes my body to store more fat and on and on. Awesome.
In short, I need to follow a low-carb diet. I will be adopting the Atkins/South Beach style diets and following carb restrictions per my doctor’s instructions–not just to lose weight but to heed off a full-blown diabetes diagnosis in my future with all my might. I am really excited to get started, mostly because I want to learn as much about this as I can to help other people, including my own family, and because I just want to feel better. You’ll probably find me in the low-carb recipe section at the library really soon.
So, here I am on a trip down the low-carb highway. By the way, I love carbs, so this feels like a carb funeral. But anyway, I’m scheduled to check back in with my doc in three months. If I’ve successfully lost a certain amount of weight on this diet by then, we will have isolated the problem. Although this diagnosis isn’t the best news a person could hear, it’s certainly not the worst, and I can’t tell you how relieved I am to finally have an answer to a few of my most disconcerting health problems. Now, I can tackle them proactively because I actually know what I’m up against. And it’s not a giant growing tumor–haha! Sorry, I had to.
I’ll keep you updated on my progress, as I hope my experience might be able to help others.
Anyone have any advice/resources for low-car/diabetic diets? Send them my way.