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What to Accomplish in Your 20’s

What to accomplish in your 20s

I was challenged recently to write  a post about navigating your 20’s. And since I’m a 20’s graduate, working on my 30’s masters, I do have some thoughts on what I would advise someone to accomplish in their twenties. (There’s a fun conversation going on about this. Check out this and this blog for more inspiring 20s life posts.)

First, let me give you a quick idea of the major accomplishments of my 20s:

 

 

  • Graduated college Magna cum Laude with a Bachelor’s in English.
  • Got married and bought my first house at 23
  • Got my first post-grad job and then my first actual writing job.
  • Had my first baby at 25
  • Ran a half marathon–my first ever race!

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Our First House

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All monumental things summed up in a quick matter-of-fact bulleted list, right? Ha!

Now, if I were to tell anyone in their 20’s what their 20’s bucket list should look like, I’d tell them this:

Start working toward your dream job: You might not land your dream gig right out of the gate, but there are always things you can do to MAKE It Happen right now! Start by volunteering in your desired niche, do some things for free. I created my own PR type writing volunteer job at a local museum. I didn’t just look for this opportunity, I quite literally made it happen by creating the volunteer spot itself. Doing so got me valid experience and portfolio pieces that opened me up to my dream job. You could always start your own business on the side too to transition into. I didn’t have any entrepreneurial people in my family willing to teach me about self-employment, and I wish I did because today’s digital business landscape is Fertile! (If you’re an English major, I’d love to be that person for you. Check this out).

Learn and master a few key recipes: Yes, this is one of those adulting self-reliance things, but it’s also about being healthy and budget-conscious. It will serve you well when you have a family, when you want to entertain, when you want to demonstrate your affection to a love interest;) You should learn how to cook more than a Pop-Tart and Easy Mac in your twenties. It’s good for your health, your bank account and your relationships. A few of the ONLY cookbooks on my bookshelf are listed on my Fave Resources page.

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Start replacing hand-me-down furniture with quality: one of the rites of passages into adulthood is changing out your secondhand furniture for new, good quality pieces. Start with where you spend the most time: invest in a good bed, a nice couch, and a treadmill, for example. Furnishing your homes with quality lifetime pieces will really elevate you into adulthood. And your environment can have a strong influence on your wellbeing, so make a home for yourself that feels like you.

 

Contribute to your 401k: when I took my first post-grad job, I was amazed when the HR guy showed me the chart about what retirement looks like if you start investing in your twenties versus your thirties. It’s like exponentially different! Start now! Even if you think you don’t need to start thinking about it yet. Plus, your employer’s matching program? That’s free money, people! Just do it! You’ll thank me later. And if you have kids, do the same with their college fund. Start when they’re born, not when they’re 5.

Build up good credit: you think being in debt is just the norm because everyone around you is in debt. Well, it’s not going to serve you, ever. So, starting now, make sure you don’t spend more than you make, always pay your credit card balance off every month, and make payments on time. When you go to buy a house or a new car, you’ll be in the position to get the best rates possible. I had college paid off before my loans ever even became due. And by the time we went to buy our first house, I had near-perfect credit scores.


Spend money where it counts:
The best things to spend money on? Experiences, education and other people. No material thing will ever come close! Travel as much as you can while it’s still feasible. Get your next degree right away while it’s easier for you to do so. And start creating space in your budget for giving back. You maybe did this a little as a kid, but it’s really an adult, humanitarian thing to do.

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Try to value your Time: When my son was born, I said to a friend “when I used to say ‘I just don’t have the time’ before, what the heck was I talking about?” Because seriously? Kids knock your time down by about 1000%. I’m not saying that to complain, I’m just saying it will be a big shock and adjustment. Even if you don’t anticipate having children, the more responsibilities you take on in your career, the less time you’ll have. You don’t know it now, but you actually have the most time available to you as you ever will. Do something wise with it.


Start taking care of your body.
You’ve likely stopped playing team sports and might even dwell in cubicle-land, so you need something new to challenge your body. Even though you don’t feel it yet, your body will become different in your 30s. Things will hurt that never did. And food will affect your body in ways it never did before. I know that makes me sound suuuuper old, but I’m not. And you’ll thank your 20s self if you start feeding it the best fuel and keeping it active now. Things will feel better as you grow older.

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Read self-development every day: become a better human. It’s amazing how your life transforms when you fill your head with all these empowering things. Try it, you’ll see!

 

Shed the judgement and cattiness of your school days and embrace compassion and love instead. It will get you everywhere. Ahhhh, doesn’t that feel better, just thinking about it?

Listen to your mom: as I’m going through motherhood myself, I’ve noticed we go from adoring our moms when we’re little, to becoming angst-ridden parent-hating teens to adoring our moms again as adults. Especially after having your own child. Moms, amiright? The first thing I did after having a baby was contemplate in amazement my own mother. And when you start repeating phrases your mom always used, you realize that you really should’ve just listened to your mom this whole time.

 

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Keep in touch with your friends: it takes a lot more work to get together with friends nowadays. Sometimes it takes great feats of effort to get together. You can’t just go and hang out on a whim like you used to. You have to make sure you make an intentional effort to connect and don’t leave it up to the other person. It’s too easy to become a hermit. And there’s a time for hermit-ness. But your friends are your heart, so don’t let them bleed away.

Find ways to give back: your twenties are one of the most selfish decades in your life. And I’m not saying that to be harsh, I’m just stating it matter-of-factly. It just is. Start taking time to find random acts of kindness, volunteer work, a cause to put your heart into. It will make you a better person.

DO NOT CONFORM: there are waaaaay to many people running on the normal, autopilot life. Don’t be one of those people. You have way too much beauty and rarity to offer this life. Figure out what and whom you love and run with it!

 

I know these are super fortune-cookie-simple pieces of advice, but they seriously sum up THE most important things about life in your 20s. I could go on and on about each one. They’re not simple at all. But given the context of this post, they’re straightforward as possible.

What about you?

If you’re past your 20s, what would you add to this list?

If you’re in your 20s, are any of these values ringing a bell?

 

~This blog was inspired by the fun minds over at Casper. Their Pillow Talk blog (love the name!) is really entertaining, check it out.

A Message of Thanks

I just have to give a shout-out to Hubster to let him know how much his support of my dreams means to me. This week we celebrated 7 years of wedded bliss, so what better time than now.

Sometimes, I have those moments where I’m in full-blown creative mode. I could think of 100 ideas off the top of my head, my eyes get really big and my voice gets quite animated. Not many people see that side of me (and it doesn’t happen that often), but Hubster does. When I get overcome with dreams, projects and ideas, he always nods his head in full agreement. And it’s not the kind of nod and smile that’s dismissive. It’s the real thing. The “I’ll build that for you” or “I’ll take you there” type of nod.

He’s offered to help me with DIYs that I’ve come up with for on here. The type that would normally have me putting supplies back on the shelf not knowing quite how to implement the project. Hubster even gives me more ideas than I started with and works through them with me to make them work or make them better. He sits in the hardware store for longer than he had anticipated to try and bounce around ideas with me. He even offers to check a different store for me when we don’t quite find what we’re looking for.

When I went in for my NASM test, he actually told me he said a prayer for me. I mean, this brings water to my eyes just writing about it. The man of quiet faith who rarely goes to church or talks about religion. I know he’s a believer, but he rarely shows it or speaks a word of it. He actually prayed for me, and told me that he prayed for me. I mean, I was so flabbergasted and grateful at the same time.

When I spout off ideas about workout videos and projects for this blog and my new personal training career, he obliges the role of photographer. He even spent an entire day alone in Chicago with Peanut while I went to an NASM workshop. He even agrees when I want to spend money on this stuff. Some of it comes from my own stash, but he’s super supportive of my spending–but he knows I am super diligent and super-conservative about spending so he trusts my decisions.

Hubster, thanks for being behind me on this one! It’s these things that make me remember how much I appreciate you and just how lucky I am. It makes a world of difference to have someone who supports you with his heart and soul. Mwah!

Putting a Little Love in My Heart

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Picture from Zen on Flickr

I know it’s a few days late, but my heart was peeled open on Valentine’s day by a quick scan through an old journal I kept. I found the pages where my husband and I became an item. And the date–May of 2003! The story isn’t overly interesting, there is no plot climax, no sparkling lift-off. It’s all pretty tame. But the feelings I felt after reading it tell another story.

I could practically feel the butterflies again. I was reliving some of the conversations and critical moments. I was laughing about how he always tried to surprise me with things and the uncanny ways it never worked out. I was laughing at all the people on the roster that wanted us to start “going out.” I read aloud some of the sappy and funny things to my husband and we both enjoyed the good-humored reminiscing.

The next day, I woke up feeling like someone had hit the “refresh” button. There were emotions stirred up inside me that had long been forgotten. I looked at my husband like he still had some charm left:) Ha! But anyway, I felt very different. On a small high, if you will.

This got me thinking even further into using writing as cheap therapy. Writing down five things that were great about your day or nice things people said to you is rather healthy. I found some compliments in this same journal that gave me a bit of an emotional lift even this many years later, but I know I wasn’t thinking about that when I wrote them down. Write them down today and who knows what sort of joy they’ll bring in a year or five. I know exactly where I’ll turn when I need a little boost about the feelings of my marriage.

I Love you Again and Again

We should be able to marry again and again and again.

There is so much anticipation, so many loved ones in one place, so much love radiating from the pews, so much fun to be had dancing with little tykes and all the uncles, and so much thought into every thread that graces the stage on that ceremonious day (and so little of it afterwards) that it should never have to stop. And the look in each other’s eyes and those magical words “I do” could never lose their magic.

Besides, it can be so hard to narrow down a theme that it would be fun to be able to pick a different one every five years or experience an elopement, try a non-traditional dress, make room in the wedding party for new friends in your life, or give out party favors that convey something from each set of years you’ve spent together.

Oh, I could definitely live without the familial friction and the staggering bills, but I would desperately love to relive that enchantment that lasts only hours for one short miraculous day.

We evolve in our love for one another. And we could use a way to truly express that love beyond such trivial means available to the already-married. A way to renew that bond and celebrate something of such significance. To feel that raw love anew.