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Boun-sing Back!

I had a short little hiatus here from work and blogging, but I’m so glad to be back. Just a few weeks more and I’ll be taking another one for Christmas. I have encountered a surge of ideas this Monday morning after my little “refresher,” which makes every bit of the break sooooo worth it!

This past week I have enjoyed:

1. Making a new Christmas wreath and matching garland (ideas and images coming soon).
2. Thrift shopping for longer than is considered reasonable.
3. Beginning a new exciting project involving old hard covered books, picked up at said thrift store.
4. Staying at a friend’s parent’s house while my husband hunted deer. After finding three deer, our chest freezer is now fully stocked.
5. Making new friends, adult and tot-sized.
6. Feeling genuinely thankful for our home and family, Thanksgiving or not.
7. Putting lots of thought into Christmas gifts, and checking a few names off.
8. Planning Christmas decorations and traditions (daily readings with hot cocoa, Christmas movies, cutting a tree, etc).
9. Working out extra hard and coming out on the other side of the holiday 1lb lighter.
10. Going to a neat indie craft fair and soaking up the art inspiration and holiday excitement.

How was your week?

A Very Merry Un-Birthday to Me

I hosted a wine and cheese party for some of my favorite people last Saturday. I’ve mentioned this idea before, but I finally put it together and did it and enjoyed every minute. We had quite the spread of cheeses, a tub full of wine bottles, and a choice assortment of dried fruit, figs, olives, chocolates, crackers and nuts.

My grandma recently bestowed me with my great-grandmother’s china, and I couldn’t have been any giddier to showcase it and put it to good use. My great-grandma bought the set for herself while she worked outside the home for a short time. You see, my great-grandparents owned a farm and didn’t have a lot of money left over after getting the necessities for frivolity. So, it just makes me feel all tingly knowing she did this one nice thing just for herself.

We also broke out our Tiffany candle holders that have been protectively wrapped up in tissue inside the familiar blue box. These were a wedding gift from almost five years ago that I am always afraid to bring/leave out. We joke that they’re some of the only refined things we own, aside from the china now.

I put up a fun tinsel/streamer wall with a set of props and charades-like cards for picture-taking. With a little encouragement, almost everyone got their mugs captured. Even my husband tried his best Rockette’s pose. Oh boy!

We watched a comedy collection of four Independent Films and rated Best Picture, Best Performance, and Best Original Story. We chatted. We broke out the Wii. And a few of us went out to a lounge afterwards to catch a cover band, featuring a friend of one of the girls.

I am truly honored and grateful to have such wonderful friends. Sometimes, winter seems to turn us into such impersonal, stagnant beings. We only see our neighbors if we both happen to be outside shovelling at the same time. Everyone’s hibernating in their own homes, there’s not a whole lot to do, and we can start to feel quite bored and lonely. This party sure broke up some of the winter doldrums and made my heart feel all warm. I think I might start a new tradition and try this again, once every year.

The Party’s at My House

I think I was reading someone else’s blog entry about having a wine and cheese party that got me thinking about having a girls’ night sometime soon myself. Something to replenish those bonds and give us girls something to talk about. Ok, I was just looking for any excuse to get all the girlies I adore the most together. And banish awkward silences.

Then, something about indie film screening came into my inbox not two seconds later like surrendipity.

A few days later, this fantastic party favor idea (including wine party favor options) graced my inbox.

And there you have it: fate has arranged a fully-planned party for me. How does New Year’s Eve sound?

Breast Cancer Care Package

In an unfortunate turn of events, two of my dear friends are undergoing treatments for breast cancer at the exact same time. From an outsider’s point of view, it is difficult to know what to say, offer, or do in times like this. Some friends drop off the planet because they don’t know how to approach a sick person. I strive to not be one of those “friends”. I want to offer as much support as I can from my position. I’ve done some research and soul-searching and come up with a few ideas for care packages that I thought would come in handy for someone going through a double mastectomy or even any medical treatment:

1. Lipstick, perhaps along with a copy of “Why I Wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy.” I remember reading a clip from this book in a magazine, celebrating femininity and encouraging a sense of hope in anyone fighting this disease. Once a woman begins wearing lipstick again, she’s on the road to recovery.

2. Nail polish, neck scarf or bold jewelry. Same principles as above apply. A woman is a woman no matter if her breasts are attached or not. She can still celebrate her inner and outer beauty in other ways. Let your loved one know that her beauty and value as a woman is most definitely not attached to her chest.

3. Form pillow. Women going through painful treatments can use as much creature comforts and padding as you can give them.

4. Cashmere socks (or socks infused with aloe like I found). Keeps her extremities warm and pampered at the same time.

5. Handheld games, magazines, and other reading material. This sort of thing helps pass the time and entertain her when she’s in another waiting room or receiving treatments.

6. I found a book called something to the effect of “200 Foods That Will Save Your Life.” You have to be careful with this one. You don’t want to insult your dear friend or violate any diets her health care provider has recommended. But if she’s talking about overhauling her diet and lifestyle, something to help her along in the process is always appreciated. This book explained each superfood’s health benefits and provided a recipe for each.

7. Journal. Whether she wants to vent, hope, or write letters to her children, a journal provides a woman with a wonderful creative outlet.

8. Daily devotion book. You have to be careful with this one too because of varying religious beliefs, but if you know your friend’s beliefs, this sort of spiritual reassurance can help heal her soul and instill her with a sense of peace.

9. Comedic relief. A comic book, funny movie, or handcrafted book of goofy pictures helps revive joy in an otherwise morose circumstance. Laughter truly is medicine. I’ve even read studies about laughter and how it reduces pain and helps the healing process.

10. Hot/cold pack. I found a nice pack that can be both heated up and frozen for whatever sort of relief she needs.

11. If she’s up for it and you can manage it, one of the best things you can do is just to be there for her. Provide moral support during treatments, lighten her load, provide her and her family with dinner, or stop by and hold her hand for awhile. It’s always reassuring to know you have people who love you and want to take care of you.

12. A cancer buddy/weapon/curer. Find a trinket that reminds you of your friend. Maybe a healing stone, a plush stuffed lion or a fake sword that she can bring with her to the hospital. There should be some significance attached to the object of course, such as a “cancer weapon” sword, so that your friend is not only reminded of the love of her friends each time she sees it but also gives her courage in her fight.

13. False eyelashes and nails. Chemo treatments can leave a woman without eyelashes and healthy fingernails, and a woman always loves to feel gussied up and pampered.

14. Do a 5k in her name. Find a race in your area that benefits cancer research and scout out donations. Progressing the search for a cure has to be one of the most productive ways you can help your friend (and the rest of humanity that faces cancer risk).

Seinfeld Syndrome

Sometimes I wish I could implement the dynamics of the Seinfeld cast to my own friendships to create a wide open-door policy. I mean, Elaine, George and Kramer can show up unannounced and talk about anything (or nothing). And even their most detrimental idiosyncrasies do not demolish their friendships. They accept each others’ ticks, make plans to hang out without any hassles, and feel completely comfortable in one another’s company. This is sort of comparable to the Friends cast. Sure there are tiffs about stolen girlfriends and lost bets, but you only need to walk into the next room or across the hall to find one of the greatest sources of love: your friends.

I know, I know. It’s just TV. But there is something to be said about that open-door policy. I feel a little ripped off when I can’t visit a friend due to the state of her living room or a conflict of naptime schedules. And I feel a little lonely when I tell friends that my door is open and they never take me up on it. No really, my door is wide open. I thrive on unexpected visits.

Reinventing the Wheel

Why is it OK to use others’ ideas in order to prevent “reinventing the wheel”, but we have to constantly reinvent ourselves to every person we meet to earn ourselves any value?

So, you leave college, change jobs, and suddenly that perfect attendance, A+ average and raving reviews from your college professors mean absolutely nothing. You have to perform above average on the corporate tasks set before you over and over again to once again gain that superior reputation.

Then, you change doctors three times in the last five years due to your medical coverage, and along the way all those years in a row of normal results mean nothing, and you have to start out at year one again and again (even though you’ve been in the same monogamous married relationship for the past three years and tested normal for the past 10 and had every detail of your past medical history faxed over each time). The new eye doctor also doesn’t get it until you’re there three years in a row. Then he says, well, something must be wrong.

You graduate college, get married, have a baby and after that, fall off the face of the Earth. It is difficult to renew that sense of excitement or level of care people have for you during those times. If you’re not shopping for a gown or picking up a layette, you’re nobody. Unless maybe you’ve somehow found the key ingredient to erasing laugh lines. Even then, you’d have to pitch your product with a huge marketing budget in order for anyone to hear about it.

Then, you’re in a nursing home with no visitors and your most exciting feat for the day is planting a fricken’ tomato seed. Most situations, relationships, types of people, and news events aren’t “fresh” to you anymore. You can’t bungee jump from a New York building anymore. And even if you were a world-renowned artist a few decades back, no one would stop long enough to learn about it because you’re not “fresh” anymore.

This is why it is so important to not write people off because the first time you saw them, they had a toothpaste smudge on their sleeve. Every one of my best friends will tell you that they didn’t think much of me when they first saw me. It took a long time and a lot of exploration to find out who I really was and that I might be worth being around. I myself have been surprised to find out certain things about people that I never would’ve imagined and found love in an unlikely place. I despised my own husband when I first met him. That’s the trouble. Most of us are all too dismissive. Try not to miss out next time, okay?

By the way, Miss Bride-of-the-Year, while we’re overjoyed about your union, please remember that once this is all over, the hype will disappear very rapidly. Try not to ruin friendships, pine over icing colors for too long, or float your head too high, because we all need you back on Earth, and we don’t want to have to cringe at the thought of you when you come back.

P.S. What is happening to cinnamon-flavored gum? This cure for my boredom-of-the-mouth (more on that in a later post) is disappearing from every well-stocked candy shelf imaginable. Wrigley’s cinnamon? Are you out there somewhere?

Extenuating Circumstances Make Great Friends

Sometimes it takes a tragedy, an emergency situation or an unlikely pairing on an eternal bus ride to deepen a connection between two rare souls. Sometimes it seems a tragedy in itself that it takes such extenuating circumstances to forge said connection.

I remember a woman I used to work with that reamed someone out for asking her how she was one day. Instead of just letting it go as a socially responsible thing to ask, she lectured him about the unfriendliness of the “how are you” question when he really had no regard for the answer. But would it have been more friendly to just ignore her and walk into the building without having said a word to her?

In a way, she was right though. These less-than-meaningful social graces we subscribe to don’t fulfill that deep desire for human connection. But it would be difficult to forge that connection with every single person we pass, and so these social graces keep us moving along in harmony.

However, wouldn’t it be nice, once in awhile, if we could form some deep bonds with the people we meet in passing? Without being couped up next to them in a bathroom during an hour-long tornado warning? Without lying next to them on an airport bench during severe winter weather that left you both stranded?

I have a neighbor that I’ve said “hello” to in passing. She’s right around my age with a little daughter. We seem to be in a similar sort of life situation in many respects, yet I didn’t even know her name for the first three years of living in my home. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone within breathing distance to laught about tantrums with, to exchange babysitting, to rave about the new sidewalks, and to whisper about our mates?

I have good friends, to be sure. But sometimes the logistics of separate cities, multiple children and different working hours leave little time for get-togethers, let alone grabbing a quick coffee. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone so close by that you don’t need to think about packing your baby in the car, running for gas, and being home in time for dinner? And why not be close friends with a neighbor anyway?

So, we invited the neighbor, her daughter and boyfriend for a cookout during the summer. From my profile, you can see that I have a craving for connection. I tend to fall more on the reserved side though, so I let my husband do the talking. I mean, why not? Why not take those small opportunities and turn them into something remarkable? A tight group of close friends keeps us all happy, healthy, well-adjusted human beings. And they have nice warm homes to hide out in when you accidentally lock yourself out of the house.